
“You stood right there and promised you’d be home early.”īut you remember making coffee quietly in the kitchen so you wouldn’t wake her. When you tell her you don’t recall that conversation about taking her to run errands, she shakes her head in disbelief. “I need my medication, but now the pharmacy will be closed by the time we get there.” “You said you’d be home right after work tonight,” she insists one day. The two of you get along fairly well, but she often questions you when you come home a little late. Here are some other examples of gaslighting in action: With family Doctors may gaslight when they suggest you’ve imagined your symptoms, imply that you’re exaggerating your pain, or recommend therapy instead of medical treatment.

Politicians, for example, gaslight when they deny events recorded on video or witnessed by multiple people. But this denial of reality drains your energy, disconnecting you from yourself and leaving you feeling low and hopeless.Īnyone can gaslight, not just people in your personal life. Eventually, you accept their version of reality to avoid conflict and do whatever you can to earn their approval. After a few more instances of gaslighting, you start to defend yourself. It seems unusual, but you brush it off as a one-time thing. This often happens in three distinct stages, according to Stern, though not every gaslighting dynamic involves all three stages: It’s more nuanced, which can make it harder to recognize. Gaslighting isn’t the same as someone lying to you, expressing a different opinion, or saying you’re wrong about something. spending little or no time on the activities or hobbies you used to enjoy.constantly reviewing your words and actions to make sure you’ve done everything “right”.lying or isolating yourself from loved ones to avoid conflict.making excuses for the person gaslighting you to family and friends.frequently questioning whether you said the right thing or made the right choice.making choices to please others instead of yourself.Gaslighting can also show up as changes in your behavior. This mask of concern can leave you even more convinced there’s something “wrong” with you. “You know I wouldn’t say these things if I didn’t care, right?”.“You seem so confused lately, and you keep forgetting things.These feelings tend to come from what the other person says or implies about your behavior.



